As a California Bar Certified Family Law Specialist, one of my goals is to help clients achieve a successful divorce. It may seem like the words “successful” and “divorce” contradict themselves, but they do not. Experience and academic studies have helped us identify the basic elements of a successful divorce. “Successful,” as used here, means to complete the process of emotional separation, establish a new center of balance as a single person, maintain the welfare of your children, and develop healthy attitudes toward yourself, your ex-spouse, and your past marriage.

As in life itself, absence of conflict is not part of a successful divorce. A degree of anger and conflict is natural, useful, and constructive. It helps break the bonds of attachment and old patterns in the relationship, stimulates reflection, and enables change. (Excessive and destructive conflict, however, requires special treatment – usually the intervention of divorce coaches).

I ask clients to try to view their “ex” as a problem-solving partner. It is helpful to consider the ‘ex’ as someone who can actively and constructively participate in resolving the issues created by the separation. The closer the parties come to mutuality and balance, the healthier it will be for them and their family.

If you would like to attend this Saturday’s free family law workshop, please RSVP by calling toll free (888) 852-9961, or reply to this email. To view other upcoming free events at The Law Collaborative, please visit www.thelawcollaborative.com/events.htm. I encourage you to forward this invitation to your friends, family, and colleagues.

Best wishes for a healthy and happy New Year,

Ron Supancic, CFLS
The Law Collaborative, APC
21051 Warner Center Lane, Suite 100
Woodland Hills, CA 91367
T: (818) 348-6700
F: (818) 348-0961
www.thelawcollaborative.com/

Happy Holidays to all of you, and the warmest Greetings for the coming year.

This holiday season we are making an effort to live mindfully. At the suggestion of one of the staff at The Law Collaborative, we have jointly decided that the funds normally spent on holiday cards, gifts to each other, and a Holiday meal at a restaurant, would be better spent in a more creative and mindful manner. We have collaboratively chosen to donate the funds to a family that we are sponsoring through a local organization.

Birth is involuntary. Death is inevitable. That is the cycle of life. It begins with a single inhalation. It ends with a single exhalation. In between, we take a finite number of breaths; the single most important activity in life. Each breath we breathe can be an invitation to live more fully, more consciously, and more attentively.

Mindfulness is conscious attention to each moment that we live. It’s not easy but when we succeed, we find it’s worth the effort. Mindfulness is at the heart of appreciation, gratitude, respect, and love. When we embrace appreciation, express gratitude, and show respect, we experience love in wonderful ways; love of nature, love of beauty, and love of humankind, including ourselves.

In loving awareness, love for self is able to well up, fill us, and spill over to refresh and irrigate others. How strange that Self-love becomes the heart of our love for others. Love for others is the prescription for the redemption of the ills of the world. Until we learn this essential lesson, we will continue to experience hostility, unhappiness, and war.

That is why this holiday we are making an effort to live mindfully. You are helping us to make this possible. Thank you for your support in 2011, and your continued support in 2012.

Wishing you Happy Holidays and a wonderful New Year,

Ron Supancic, CFLS
The Law Collaborative, APC
21051 Warner Center Lane, Suite 100
Woodland Hills, CA 91303
T: (818) 348-6700
F: (818) 348-0961
Toll free: (888) 852-9961
www.thelawcollaborative.com/

If you have been following along for the last three weeks, you are familiar with Helene Antel’s story. If you haven’t been following along, you should start now. Her story is incredible. A former criminal prosecutor district attorney, a ferocious advocate for her clients, and a victim of domestic violence. Listen to Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here.

This week Helene talks about what she learned from her life experiences and how they changed her attitude about the practice of law. She discovered that being kind, patient, thoughtful, and charming, made her a better, more effective lawyer. In her words:

“The long drawn out expensive divorce litigation is the perpetration of the anger, the fight. It’s that neither party is willing to move on; the fighting is just a way to maintain a connection. If you declare peace, then the relationship is really over. Without knowing it, many people are not ready to truly separate themselves from their partner so they connect through a long drawn out battle. But you can choose not to fight anymore. You can choose to learn how to mediate your conflicts or manage your conflicts and keep the family together.”

Listen now to the fourth and final interview with Helene Antel, lawyer and peacemaker.

Like what you heard? Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and download free podcasts every week.

For those who think Collaborative Divorce is just a fad, you should read this article from Open.Salon.com.

Collaborative Divorce is not a fad. It’s a new way to help couples separate while keeping their family intact – and all over the world, it’s working for the common good.

A very happy (and safe!) Halloween from all of us at The Law Collaborative.

Pssst… Have you checked out our events page lately? Second Saturday Divorce Workshop is Nov. 12 and From Dating Through Divorce, a seminar with information that everyone with a family needs to know, is Nov. 15. Sign up now by calling us toll free at (888) 852-9961 or by visiting www.thelawcollaborative.com/events.htm.

In last week’s episode of Ron and Robert on Divorce, we heard the story of Helene Antel, a successful, powerful, ferocious district attorney who was the victim of domestic violence. It took her years, but she finally learned how to follow the very advice she routinely gave her clients. Once she learned how to do that, she was able to begin building a life of freedom for herself and her child. When asked what the turning point was that allowed her to start taking her own advice, she says it was when she achieved ambivalence.

Now, she finds herself moving away from litigated court cases because she doesn’t want to make war anymore. She wants to make peace. In her words:

“Violence only breeds violence. Respectful communication breeds solutions. You can get a resolution without all the hate, the fighting and the misery. It takes less time, and it takes a far less egregious toll on the participants.”

Listen now to part 3 of this fascinating series:

Missed the first two? Listen to Part 1 HERE and Part 2 HERE.

Don’t miss another one! Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and download free podcasts weekly.

We have a Special Limited Time Offer ($500 Value) for current clients in good standing.

The 1996 Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) was designed to make health insurance portable for employees, but it also imposed strict rules for the release of private medical information.

Healthcare providers, in efforts to comply with HIPAA, regularly refuse to provide family members with critical information about the medical conditions of their loved ones. The problem is, once disabled, a person may no longer be able to grant the necessary authorization. Abusive and neglectful caregivers have been known to hide behind these rules, while loved ones are denied recourse.

To help protect our clients, The Law Collaborative is offering to prepare and provide current clients in good-standing with a complimentary Advanced Health Care Directive, Living Will, Healthcare Power of Attorney, and HIPAA Authorization. Clients will also receive a wallet card and a complimentary one-year enrollment in a service that stores these important legal documents so that they can be accessed by medical professionals anywhere in the world in case of emergency. The wallet card also lists allergies, medical conditions, and provides a toll-free number for access to these critical documents.

We care about our clients and we want them to be protected when they need it most. To take advantage of this limited time offer or for further information on how you can control your property while you’re alive, care for yourself and your loved ones if you become disabled, and give what you have to whom you want, the way you want, when you want, call us toll free at (888) 852-9961 and ask about our HIPAA offer and free estate planning consultation.

Your legacy matters – take control of it now.

*This is a limited time offer to clients with current billing accounts and may be subject to change or revocation at any time without notice.

Best wishes,
Ronald Supancic, CFLS and Robert Borsky, Esq.
Partners at The Law Collaborative, LLC

All personal relationships, from casual dating all the way through marriage and the relationships we have with our children, are governed by the law. Unless you’re a hermit, at some point the law will intersect with your personal relationships. Join us on Tuesday, November 15 at 6:30 p.m. for a discussion designed to cover some areas which will be of concern to everybody attending, even those with perfect marriages and perfect children.

Attorney Ty Supancic will discuss how California’s 2000 page prenuptial agreement (aka the California Family Code) can be overcome with some advance planning by dating couples, designed to strengthen relationships before marriage so that the resulting marriage has a better chance of enduring.

Ty will present and discuss communication tools developed by mental health professionals to enhance relationships before, during, and after marriage. Powerful tools we can bring to bear in all of our relationships.

Even in the best marriage, the law is ever present. Ty will discuss and explain responsibilities couples have to each other, parents have to children, and parents have to the world. This includes child labor law, dealing with troubled children, and planning for your children’s retirement.

If you know someone whose marriage has fallen on hard times, Ty will discuss tools that can help save a marriage, or if it can’t be saved, may help the parties have the least destructive family reorganization possible with the fewest casualties and at the lowest cost.

Not only is divorce second only in stress to the death of a loved one, but it often results in financial disaster. It doesn’t have to be that way. Ty will discuss the seven options couples have if they decide their marriage cannot be saved. The options include creative solutions not considered by any court, which can minimize impact to children and the couple’s finances.

Ty will also discuss the process of dissolution in California. What procedures are required, what pitfalls and dangers might be encountered and how to avert them, and what measures can be taken to minimize the long-term impact. He’ll also discuss relationships after a final divorce decree.

The Law Collaborative takes a holistic view of family law: We realize that divorce isn’t the end. Relationships continue in one form or another, especially if there are children. Without this insight and without proper acknowledgment of this truth and careful planning, a divorce can destroy lives in the long term — solving nothing but creating many new problems.

Ty Supancic is an attorney with a perfect marriage and a perfect child, but that wasn’t always the case. Ty also has a decent sense of humor and will try to utilize it during this discussion. Questions are welcome, refreshments and handouts will be provided.

This seminar is open to the public. Licensed attorneys who attend will earn 1 MCLE Credit. The seminar is on Tuesday, November 15, 2011 from 6:30 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. at our office in Woodland Hills. For more information or to register for this seminar today, please visit www.thelawcollaborative.com/events.htm

]]> http://ronandrobertondivorce.com/what-everyone-who-has-or-wants-a-family-needs-to-know/feed/ 0 http://ronandrobertondivorce.com/helene-antel-lawyer-and-peacemaker-p-2/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=helene-antel-lawyer-and-peacemaker-p-2 http://ronandrobertondivorce.com/helene-antel-lawyer-and-peacemaker-p-2/#comments Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:03:07 +0000 A Serious Girl http://ronandrobertondivorce.com/?p=2410

“All of a sudden, I changed from being the helplessly in love abused woman to the former district attorney. I looked at him and I said, ‘I’ve prosecuted guys like you. I know where this goes and it doesn’t get better. So this is the first and only time you are ever going to do this to me.’ Then I walked to the phone and I called 9-1-1.”

Helene Antel was a district attorney prosecutor and a ferocious advocate for her clients. But at home, she was someone else entirely. Listen to Part 2 of this electrifying story of a powerful, educated, skilled district attorney criminal prosecutor and how she survived and overcame her abusive marriage.

Did you miss the first part? Check it out HERE.

Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and download free podcasts every week.